Wednesday Night Chaos

I’m guessing every parent remembers their first call to Poison Control. I made my maiden telephone call last Wednesday. The bean came home happy from daycare, but starting hysterically crying when I tried to change her diaper. She was crying so hard that I almost started crying. I treated her diaper rash (the suspected cause of the tears), wrestled her into a clean diaper, slipped her feet into shoes, and took her outside for a semi-nude walk to distract her. As usual, she stopped to inspect anything of interest on the sidewalk (trash, seed pods, trash), and picked up a few red berries to carry with her. She has carried these red berries around before and has never attempted to eat them, so I did not try to take the berries from her.

As we were nearing our house, I looked down in time to see the bean pulling her fingers out of her mouth. Assuming she’d tried to eat a red berry, I swiped my finger through her mouth, but didn’t find anything.  However, I thought I felt something at the back of her throat, and I was pulling my finger out of her mouth, I saw her swallow.

 My husband was at a doctor’s appointment, so I took a deep breath, carried the bean into the house, and started feeding her dinner. While she ate white beans and oyster crackers, I called Poison Control. The man on the other end of the line was friendly and calm, which I appreciated, but he said he wouldn’t be much help unless I was able to give him the name of the plant from which the berry came.  We hung up, and I frantically Googled “Santa Monica AND red berries” in an attempt to figure out if the berry the bean had just ingested was poisonous. I’d brought one of the berries home with me, so I took a photo of it, quickly joined a Facebook gardening group, and uploaded the berry photo into the group’s “what plant is this?” forum.

As the bean’s dinner progressed, I repeatedly refreshed my post to see if there were any responses: 5 views, 0 replies.  9 views, 0 replies.  (Why are there no replies??!! Do these people know ANYTHING??!! What is the point of joining an online gardening group if no one can immediately identify this red berry??!!)  Meanwhile, I kept looking over at the bean, who did not seem to be experiencing any symptoms of being poisoned. No puking, no rashes, and she hadn’t instantly died.  I decided to put her in the bath while I waited for my online gardening group to help me out. (What are all the people in this group doing right now??!!  Surely members of an online gardening group don’t have social lives, right??!!) I texted the berry photo to my brother while I filled the bathtub. After I’d stripped the bean down, but before I put her in the bath, my brother asked me to go find the plant from which the berry came, and to take a photo of it for him. I carried an entirely nude bean out front, and we started walking down the sidewalk, scrutinizing each plant that we passed. Halfway down the block, we found the culprit, a yellow and green shrub. I took a few photos, and headed home so that I could send them to my brother and upload them into the (useless) gardening forum.

Now that I had a photo of the plant, I also resumed my frantic Googling. I quickly found a few plants that resembled the yellow and green shrub, but I didn’t like what I was finding (i.e., they were all described as poisonous), so I kept looking.  I glanced into the living room, where the nude bean was playing with her toys, and noticed that she was standing in a puddle of urine. I grabbed a towel, mopped it up, and went back to Googling.  My brother texted me a photo- could the berry have come from a Manzanita bush? I wanted to say yes because Manzanita berries are not poisonous, but the yellow and green shrub definitely wasn’t a Manzanita bush. I looked into the living room, and noticed that the bean was now standing in a fresh puddle of urine. I grabbed the towel again, mopped it up, and refreshed the online gardening forum. There was a reply! One of my gardening pals thought it looked like a golden euonymus. This was good and bad news.  Golden euonymus isn’t entirely poisonous, but it’s not not poisonous either. It has minor toxicity, meaning it can cause vomiting or diarrhea. I considered doing some further Googling, but just then I noticed that the bean had pooped on the rug and stepped in it, so I took her up to the bath.

My husband came home while the bean was in the bath. He picked up the berry and drove it over to the local Home Depot to see if someone in the nursery could confirm our golden euonymus diagnosis. The nursery was closed, but my husband found a golden euonymus plant, compared the photo I’d sent him, and confirmed that the berry did appear to be from a golden euonymus bush. He came home, and we got the bean ready for bed, both relieved that she was not sick, but also concerned as we waited to see what “minor toxicity” could do to the digestive track of a 15-month-old.  She seemed fine as we lay her down in her crib and fine when we peaked in on her a few hours later. No digestive disturbances yet. The next morning, I asked the woman who runs the daycare to call me if the bean seemed sick.

My phone rang at lunch.  It was the daycare, letting me know that the bean seemed entirely normal; she was eating, playing, and napping like she always did. If the golden euonymus was going to strike, it would have done so by now, so I officially relaxed. After 18 hours of worry and research, I wondered (and still wonder) if the bean even ate the red berry.

Yesterday, while on another walk, the bean reached down and picked up a red berry. I took the berry, and threw it into the bushes.