The Party Cardi

I went to a party on Saturday night. I don’t get invited to very many parties these days, especially not parties that start after 2pm, so I was excited. I had a babysitter lined up. I had a hot date. I had a list of conversation starters (Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Jeff Goldblum from a distance? Is anyone else sweating? How come no one chews gum anymore?)  But I had nothing to wear.

I would love to blame the fact that I had no appropriate party clothes on my new-mom status, but I can’t.  I have always had this problem.  In fact, not only have I never owned any “going out” clothes, I’ve never even been able to figure out where people buy “going out” clothes. I buy all of my clothes at J. Crew and the Gap, neither of which have ever created a piece of clothing that was intended to be worn at a bar or club. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered whether it’s ok to wear a pencil skirt to go dancing. So what’s a girl to do?

The party cardi. 

Every working woman out there who only owns work clothes and leisure wear knows what I am talking about.  If you have to dress for a nighttime social event, you find the darkest colored cardigan in your closet and pair it with jeans, a tank top, and heels. Light colored cardigans are for the office, but dark colored cardigans can be worn to bars, parties, and concerts. Right?!

I’d like to say that my wardrobe problem could be easily solved if someone would just tell me where to buy party clothes. But it’s larger than that. The reason I only shop at J. Crew and the Gap is because I only look good in office clothes.  I am a tall, slender woman with square shoulders and small breasts.  In other words, I look bangin’ in a suit, but that’s about it. As much as I would love to branch out and wear more artistic clothing, it does not work with my body type.  Tunics, long sweaters, long skirts, and any other piece of clothing intended to drape over my body makes me look like a large, Bohemian box. I tried the ironic t-shirt/oversized men’s trousers look in college, and let’s just say that I was single for a long time.  I considered buying a crop top recently, but when I texted my husband a photo, he responded, “Is that for the beach?” That’s his polite way of saying, “You probably don’t want to wear that in public.”

So I will stick with office clothes for the time being. I wore a black cardigan to the party on Saturday night, and am happy to report that I spotted plenty of other party cardis. Sure, they were all being worn by my friends/co-workers, but in a way, that made me feel better. Glad to know I’m in good company.